67. Do narcissists use pheromones to hook you? A dream about a bumblebee gave me insights about narcissism?

(this is a re-post from feb 19th 2023)

I've felt for some time now, that I want to share this! 

It's not very easy to write it down  ~ So please, You share it too if you feel that someone you love can benefit from it! 💗 

In february I had this kind of weird dream:

I went out to the forest from a house with palace-high walls.  I had been ill but calmed the other two in the house, "Don't worry, I'll handle this". We had placed a small plant in a transparent plastic bag, way back in time, high up in a tree. And I was now aiming to go back and get it. 

In the bag was also a giant bumblebee, big as a fist, that we've found lifeless in a water pound. Amazingly, I found that bumblebee was now alive!! 

Happy and a bit overwhelmed, I decided to try to save it! But what does it eat?! Honey?! 

When I came back to the house was Alex Grey still sitting on the stairs in front of the porch, the same place where he sat earlier when I left. I showed him the bumblebee. The other two persons inside were a bit irritated though. They and I were like in a team and they, because of this our tight "team-spirit", were now expected to care for this poor little bumblebee as well, taking turn on feeding it etc. 

The bumblebee really looked like a wounded fledgling with wet "feathers" and it suddenly flapped gruelingly when I showed it to the couple in the house.

--- * End of dream * ---

This dream stayed so clear in my mind for weeks. And a dream that stays that clear for such a long time, is in my experience trying hard to get through to you and is really trying to say something! But I kept wondering what it could mean, I seriously couldn't understand it. 

I had been listening to Prins Harry's book Spare (audiobook, he's reading it himself) and I thought to myself, could that be where I picked the "palace-high walls" from?  But why the giant bumblebee? I just couldn't find a logical "place" for it.

Eventually I got to the idea to google Bumblebee, and Wow... 

-here's a goolge translation from the swedish wikipedia:

Bumblebees are eusocial bees, that is, community-forming bees with a queen, male and worker. An exception, however, are parasitic bumblebees (subgenus Psithyrus), also called cuckoo bumblebees, which live as nest parasites in the nests of other, social bumblebees. Often they are specialized to parasitize a certain species of bumblebee. The parasitic bumblebees were long regarded as their own genus Psithyrus, but are today categorized as a subgenus within the genus Bombus.

Sure, I knew about them being community-forming bees with a queen etc. and that the very first ones you see in the spring is hibernated queens ready to start a new colony, but the parasitic bumblebees... Woow, I've never heard of them! 

-further google translation from the swedish wikipedia:

The ecology of parasitic bumblebees

The parasitic bumblebees do not collect pollen, and therefore have no pollen baskets on their hind legs. They lack workers, and the queen takes over the host nest by (usually) killing the old queen. She can also let this one live, but eat her eggs as they are laid and replace them with her own. However, some parasitic bumblebees let some of the host bumblebees' young live, probably to get more workers to help with the breeding. Some also participate in the rearing of their own offspring. The host bumblebee workers are usually controlled by physical violence. Some species, such as the field bumblebee, also appear to use pheromones.The female bumblebees are adapted to their aggressive lifestyle through thicker body armor, stronger stingers and larger jaws.

I was flabbergasted! My god, That's It!! How often have I wondered how in earth do narcissists get their victims to fall in love with them?! And over and over again, same victim!! Did you know that a victim trying to leave their abuser goes back to them, even though they Absolutely Know about the terrible abuse! They return to the abuser in average 7 times!!! WHY?! So often I have wondered over how in earth is that possible??! So many times I have wondered how in earth do they get away with all their abusive behaviours??!

Well, all of a sudden I felt that I had the answer; PHEROMONES!!!

In english: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psithyrus

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Definitions from Oxford Languages

Pheromone

noun: ZOOLOGY plural noun: pheromones a chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, especially a mammal or an insect, affecting the behaviour or physiology of others of its species.

Pheromone - Wikipedia

Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting like hormones outside the body of the secreting individual, to affect the behaviour of the receiving individuals.

There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behaviour or physiology.

Just in case of Triggers, I also post this link below!

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